Monday, May 08, 2006

I Used This Phrase Today:

"We can schedule that argument you keep trying to have with me for 3:45."

And somewhere, somehow, Jim Fay experienced a warm fuzzy.

In actuality, that oratorical gem was merely the pastrami in an otherwise moldy sandwich of strictly sub-par management techniques, complete with the old saw, "When you get your own classroom..." and an ultra sarcastic, fake-giddy "But of course you'll stay! Of course you will!"

Upon further reflection, I should have first made the kid sit on the floor, then do jumping jacks outside for awhile, then made him stand face-first against a wall while I screamed invective against the back of his head before sending him off to alter his clothing in such a way as to leverage the value of public shaming while later demanding he scream little chants extolling my personal and professional virtues. Then I'd really be reforming education, huh?

5 Comments:

Blogger pseudostoops said...

oh my. what'd s/he do?

6:09 AM  
Blogger TMAO said...

This is my angry kid. So angry.

He wasn't doing fluency correctly, I didn't have the energy to coddle him (i.e. approach the situation like an intelligent adult), he got mad, I got mad, blah, blah. Poopy.

I have all these relationships with my "bad-attitude" "hard core"
boys that I'm finding it exhausting to maintain. All these little silly jokes and interactions. ::Coming in the door:: "Yo Mr. [TMAO] this is my hood!"
ME: You wish. Please.
THEM: Yeah, you're right. We need our fluency books?

ME: D. do you agree?
D: Dude! Dude, c'mon dude.
ME: Dude, do you agree, dude?
D: Not really, because in the first chapter...

E: ::walking into 8th period:: You wanna start something, foo?
ME: Nope.
E: Whachyou want then?
ME: For you to go 3 in 1, for you to improve your reading.
E: Yeah, that's straight. Aight.

It takes like 8 seconds, but each day I wish a little harder we could just do away with it all. And I feel guilty, like I'm not doing enough to teach them how to act. Do they understand that if they say "dude" to their math teacher next year, she will literally eviscerate them? I'm just tired.

9:18 AM  
Blogger pseudostoops said...

Hm. that's interesting. The "teaching them how to act" point makes sense- but they must know that they can't talk to everyone like this, right? And if it makes them love/respect/listen to you more?

But this was always my problem with classroom management- I'd start a nice, affirming system, and then would not have the patience to stick with it every single day. So I feel ya. You have about a million times more patience than me.

9:51 AM  
Blogger TMAO said...

See, my system really IS a series of "Dude, what's going on, dude?" My other big one is a big doopy smile and a wave as a refocusing device. Or a "Hi M-. How's it going?" when she's blatantly looking at the pictures put into those plastic protective sleaves I used to store baseball cards in during the late 1980s.

I'm sure they know what NOT to do regarding adult-young person interaction. The inverse is not necessarily true. That's what I feel uneasy about.

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TMAO, Liz here from I Speak of Dreams--I facilitate Love & Logic classes for parents, so I went to the Charles Fay presentation May 2. I was more impressed than I expected to be. One of his teaching stories was about a school that spent the first two weeks modelling and practicing expected behavior in many, many situations. The school's scores went up. I guess what I like about L&L is it gives me something to do instead of getting angry or getting pulled into arguing.

It's getting to the end of the year. Kids are tired, teachers are tired, time for a break in the action. Instead we give tests. Stupid, really.

7:34 AM  

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