...why the hell does every kid in the damn world start a conclusion with the phrase "These are the reasons why..." ? Why the hell does every damn kid in the world want to write a topic sentence that begins "Im goint to tell you about..." ? Who are you elementary school teachers who are propogating this swill? Who are you 4th and 5th grade teachers who put little check-pluses next to those sentences? It's just not possible they have ALL hit upon the same awful stylistic language without reinforcement. Bring me the reinforcers! I want their red pens and misplcaed smiley faces! I want their terrible writing assignments and tin ear for language! I swear I'm going to go blind if I read those hideous, insepid phrases one more time. I'm lighting them on fire tomorrow. Seriously. Gonna put em on a big piece of paper and set the damn thing on fire. No more! We will not write like this anymore! If I see them on a piece of paper, then I'm lighting that one on fire. Gonna lock the door so no one can come in. No new District personnel, no head-popping admin. The tortured phraseology of elementary school mis-teaching is going up in flames!