"Man, you look awful..."

The red-eyed, unshaven, dirty-handed, sunken-eyed, sleep-deprived, malnourished, twitching left ring and pinky fingered individual in front of you has:

A. Recently emerged from weeks of citizen-refugee status, most lately in the Astrodome, but before that in the broken-sewer-line-infested Hell of the New Orleans Convention Center
B. Returned from war-torn Iraq after enduring an IED attack as well as a failed kidnapping plot and attempted beheading
C. Beaten back a particularly nasty case of Leukemia
D. Taught critically at-risk 7th graders for the past six weeks.

If you marked "D -- Taught critically at-risk 7th graders for the past six week" you are correct.

I feel tired and gross and have been trying to convince myself that the huge quantities of ground coffee beans and water I consume somehow counts as a daily dose of vegetables.